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Ten Years Asleep In The Queue For The Late Night Bus - Dirty Dancefloors and Dreams of Naughtiness

Dec. 18th, 2015

08:26 pm - Ten Years Asleep In The Queue For The Late Night Bus

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1. The Americans have Black Friday. Here in Yorkshire, there’s Black Eye Friday (also known as Mad Friday) – the last Friday before Christmas, usually a time of carnage in town centre alehouses. So here I am at home, stone cold sober (i.e. Mrs B is off on her work night out, and I’ve been reading Danny Champion Of The World plus some Alice In Wonderland).

2. For someone with over fifty bottles of whisky in the house (genuinely), the only alcohol I’ve had in 2015 was a couple of pints of ale in January/ February. Didn’t intend to go teetotal, it just happened. Waking up hungover to deal with a rampaging toddler was never much fun, so I’d been cutting down anyway. I’m more bothered about Saturday morning runs than Friday night drinks these days.

3. I’ve finally had some salted caramel (Mrs B bought a Greggs doughnut with it on, which I snaffled a bite of). Historians will probably have 2014 down as the year of pulled pork, 2015 as the year of salted caramel. Both of which are in the “nice enough, but can’t see what the fuss was about” category of foods. A culinary Ed Harcourt?

4. If you think Morrissey is the expert on anxiety and social awkwardness, you’ve not seen a four year old boy arrive in a playground with Christmas cards for the girls who’d given him one (first year at school; I thought we’d better at least get cards for all the kids who’d given him a card – all of which were girls). He’d meekly stand there and gesticulate towards a girl, but (whilst I can probably identify at least half of the boys in his class) I had no idea about whether that was Poppy or Milly or various other cutesie names, so didn’t know which card to hand over until he plucked up the courage to at least utter a name... I was never good with girls. That never changed. He’s certainly inherited my shyness (that is criminally vulgar).

5. The worst card to hand over was for Boshra (who had sent J a sweet “holidays” card). She’s the girl he’s told us is his girlfriend – I don’t know if she realises this (?) - he was trying to hide behind me whilst handing his card over – very nervous. I’m looking forward to explaining to his UKIP-voting Daily Mail reading grandparents that he has a girlfriend called Boshra – it should be the highlight of my Christmas day. Despite this, every time you ask him about marrying, he tells me it’ll be to a girl called Zoe he went to Nursery with. Has he told Boshra that he’s planning on breaking it at some time during the next fifteen years? TEH DRAMAZ!!!11!!!

6. I’m in a difficult place politically at the moment. I’d probably describe myself as broadly where Corbyn is, in terms of most policies. It’s a strange situation, having been to the left of Blair/ Brown/ Miliband, being challenged by someone more extreme than you are. The problem I have is that there aren’t enough people like me to make a political difference. Since we are all individual muddles of contradiction and hypocrisy, there seems little point in a political party without an aim of winning power. Otherwise we might as well all fragment into single issue pressure groups. And, if there’s to be a left-of-centre Government then it needs to win places like Croydon and Nuneaton – seats that didn’t “swing” at the 2015 election. Attracting people like me isn’t the problem; it’s attracting sufficient “normal” people. People who don’t watch Question Time, people who don’t really have politics on their radar most of the time and probably couldn’t name their MP.

7. So, whilst I prefer Corbyn’s policies, I think I’d prefer someone like Burnham for getting the message across and converting the kind of people needed to gain power. It’s not popular to admit, but I think I’d rather have Liz Jones PM than Corbyn as the (principled but powerless) leader of the opposition. Trouble is, such thought seems heresy these days, given the “why don’t you just join the Tories” mantra for anyone right of Corbyn. If I want the cosy certainty of someone agreeing with everything I like, I’ll stick on my own. But I’d rather have the grubby compromise of a watered down left wing government than see Osborne in power until 2025. I’m not trying to be contrary, I appreciate that orthodoxy is to demand principles above all else, but I’d prefer a “Red Tory” to a blue one – and I’m worried that Corbyn will mean sitting on the sidelines watching Osborne continue to dismantle what took generations to build. Does that make me a sell-out?

8. Christmas will be in Crookes. There will be LEGO. And Trifle. Other toys and foodstuffs are available (but I know what’s on my list…).

9. Parenting wise, we are at the “briefly scratched the surface of Harry Potter and Star Wars with him, but still Fireman Sam and Thomas The Tank Engine” – a confusing mess of independence and innocence. In a couple of years, he’ll probably spend twenty hours a day playing Minecraft and we’ll only see him at meal times though.


10. I started blogging in December 2005. Apparently that’s ten years ago… makes me feel old. That seems a long time ago. I’d not been diagnosed with Crohns (though the symptoms were all there in hindsight). No parenthood to worry about. Twentysomething. Still just as daft though.

Comments:

[User Picture]
From:mammadibiba
Date:December 18th, 2015 08:54 pm (UTC)

So this works... how?

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1. What do we have here in (not so) sunny Angus? Helpful hints required.
Aside from the lovely 73 bus to Dundee, obviously. I'm living it up with tea and telly.

2. Hah! I hear you. Much wine in the house but I always have to drive somewhere in the morning, and what with the drink-driving laws here now, it never seems feasible. Plus The Child is like alcohol police innit.

3. If it's not Nutella or burnt food, I don't deal in it really.

4. High School means no Christmas cards. And if you think the socially awkward 4 year-old is shy, try the painful aspy pre-teen with absolutely no patience for anyone in her peer group.

5. I'm looking forward to the developments of Bauble's already starcrossed love life!

6&7. I hear you. I love ALL the Jeremies (except Kyle and Clarkson) and although I find Corbyn quite adorable really - and coherent, unlike many - the blimmin' Corbynites are most annoying in their zeal and criticism, while the anti-Corbynites are equally annoying. The trouble with this particular Jeremy is that he strikes me as a Michael Foot of the 21st century. He'll never get in. Much as I would like him to.

8. Christmas in Carnsnooty this year (again). This time, in the house on the sea, which makes me and The Child very happy. There will be many dinosaurs (her passion of the moment) and much chocolate. I will not be cooking without help or supervision.

9. Child has not got into Minecraft but there is still time. She is in her deconstructing Japanese anime films and series with the help of the lovely critics on YouTube. It's a nightmare.

10. Keep on being daft. The world needs more daft.

Look! I can comment on LJ! *pats self on back*
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[User Picture]
From:thebustocrookes
Date:December 18th, 2015 09:21 pm (UTC)

Re: So this works... how?

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1. Those "73s" have left Sheffield now (they were here over the summer as "Tram Replacements" - I miss them and seeing exotic Angus destinations being advertised to the people of Sheffield!

2. Such restraint! You have The Child well trained?

3. I'd buy you a t-shirt with that on it :-)

4. The "cards" thing was one that I'd not even thought to worry about but could be a minefield - I take it it doesn't get any easier?

5. He's a card... but maybe in a playground of boisterous boys, girls mistake his awkward silence for being the deep thinking type - certainly less threatening than the nutty lads who roam the place. Stay tuned for further developments...

6&7. To misquote Ghandi - "I love your Corbyn, but I dislike your Corbynites". I'd really like to fall for it - the younger me would have loved him. I just can't see it working. And I'd probably prefer a "baddie" like Blair to a "goodie" like Foot (foreign wars aside, obv). Can't be bothered with more years of opposition.

8. Dinosaurs and chocolate... and a view of the sea... why does life have to be more complicated than that?

9. She sounds a gem - though I'm not sure how much deconstruction of anime goes on in the mean streets of Arbroath - hopes he doesn't change

10. Will do :-) You know me; beyond hope!
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[User Picture]
From:_luaineach
Date:December 18th, 2015 11:25 pm (UTC)
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1. No, really! "Black Eye" Friday is a thing?! It sounds perfect for my early 20s.

2. I cannot drink wiskey at all anymore, given my propensity to square up against anybody once it's in my system. Anybody, anytime. I have a vague recollection (vague in that I don't remember what political thing we were arguing about although I remember THIS bit perfectly) of yelling "oh, it's always the same with you people. Someone other than yourself must be to blame. If not God, then the Government." at my father in his living room two nights before my wedding after some whiskey toasts earlier in the evening.

3. No, not salted caramel. Salted dark chocolate is the thing to try! SO GOOD.

4. I know people are all "oh, boys will be boys" about boy -- especially toddler/kindy/etc. aged boys -- but in my experience it has always been the boys in any grade that have been goofy and shy and girls who have been little forward minxes (running around trying to kiss them on the playground, in kindergarten!).

5. Jet still doesn't display an interested in anyone in particular. Although there was a girl last year that I saw he had txted the "hanging tree" song from Mockingjay to (we had just seen the movie and that song was also all over the radio). Like a line at a time. And I had to tell him that some people actually pay per txt so stop being such an annoying git over txt if someone doesn't write back to you after like the first three! Unfortunately for my curiosity in how THAT would develop, she moved away. No txting any girls this year that I can tell!

6. Oof. American politics. Don't even.

7. Oof.

8. We're here, as always. Hosting are annual Christmas Eve dinner and then schlubbing around at our BFFs' house in new christmas sweaters and slippers all Christmas Day afternoon and evening while THEY host dinner. So far I've only really gotten Jet mechanical inserts for his Cross pen, and some socks. Merry Christmas to him! But, those dang socks he likes are $10 a pair (£6.72 GBP) so really!

9. If not minecraft videos, then videos of people playing call of duty. Because that's a thing. I understand the in game gaming video watching only slightly less than the box opening videos but they're all the rage. Although we've never waivered on daily/weekly time limits on electronics so at least it's not 20 hours!

10. Woo ten years!
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[User Picture]
From:thebustocrookes
Date:December 20th, 2015 10:54 pm (UTC)
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1. Yeah - whilst people in Yorkshire have taken Black Friday to become a regular event in the UK, and I've even seen people having "Thanksgiving" meals over here, I doubt Black Eye Friday will be celebrated elsewhere in the world! Thankfully I'm too old for social media to have bene around in my early 20s, so very little evidence exists !

2. That'a a great slice of memory - remembering the rant but not the reason for it - think there are a couple of those in the back of my mind...

3. That's not something I've seen over here - maybe we'll get it in 2016! WE seem to be slow adopters!

4. That chimes with my experience - some boys grow up, but many of us stay goofy

5. Aww - a line at a time - that's sweet :-)

6. Sorry!

8.Is it ever actually sweater weather with you? I mean, here, it's almost fifty weeks of the year, but your climate is a bit warmer!

9. That's something that I really don't understand about today's kids - I think that my (our?) generation had much more in common with how kids were a hundred years ago than we have with 21st century ones... makes me feel very old!
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[User Picture]
From:skip_to_fiona
Date:December 19th, 2015 01:59 pm (UTC)
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2. 2 glasses of wine are my limit now, and only ever at the weekends. We're lucky that the girls let us sleep in at the weekends.

4. We get issued with a class list, and everyone in the class gets a card. It really helps with spelling some of the names! And they have post boxes in their classes to post all of their cards. Both my two play with boys, but we've had no talk of boyfriends or marriage yet. No awkwardness either. It's probably a rural Norfolk thing...

6/7. I can sympathise with you on this. I've always had an internal battle between idealism and realism. I feel like I've had to sacrifice my idealism in order to have a chance at getting elected. And now I feel I've been conditioned to think that way so it's really difficult to believe that Corbyn could get elected. However I think that politics in the UK is all up in the air at the moment, it's no longer as straight forward as it used to be, so who's to say what will happen in the future...?

Edited at 2015-12-19 02:00 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]
From:thebustocrookes
Date:December 20th, 2015 11:06 pm (UTC)
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2. Two glasses? You could drink me under the table...

4. That's properly organised! I thought that "Boshra" was called "Mushra" before we received her card (J is very softly spoken, shy) so I wish we'd had a list in advance - nearly made a major faux pas there!

6/7. I was nodding along when I read the word "conditioning" - I don't know if the idea that there aren't enough on the "left" to win power (without attracting at leat some from the "centre") is true or I've just bought into it because that's the drip drip that the media have fed me with. I just don't want to slip into the comfort zone of thinking that because "a huge number of Labour party *members* voted for Corbyn" that "a large number of *voters* will vote for him"... I'm tempted to believe the leader who's generally telling me things that I want to believe in, but sceptical that things aren't quite so rosy... like there's not enough to get headaches about in the world? :-/
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From:silver_starfish
Date:December 20th, 2015 08:03 am (UTC)
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1. Sounds much more fun than town carnage to me!

2. 50?!! Open? Half drunk? Empty? Look at you all grown up and being healthy!

3. I love salted caramel. Probably more so now because it's off limits for me! (cue violins) I hate pulled pork though. Everything else is starting to be pulled now too!

4. I never would've thought of you as shy really. Hope J is getting on well at school apart from girl awkwardness? (just reminded me of 'AW is being AW, haha)

6. When you talk about politics, it always makes me feel incredibly uninformed! (not uniformed!) I really struggle to be interested in so much of it, and try and grasp the main issues and hope for the best! :s

8. For all of us?! But I've made other plans now! How am I going to get to Crookes?! We were planning trifle though (not one I can eat unfortunately), and if things get crazy we might bring out the Duplo.

10. Happy Decaversary! We were still to come across each other in those days. I actually struggle to remember what life was like before our insane (or should that be inane?) conversations. What a dull place it must've been.
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[User Picture]
From:thebustocrookes
Date:December 20th, 2015 11:14 pm (UTC)
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1. Been a long time since any "carnage"...

2. Mainly full and untouched... such restraint!

3. What is a "treat" nowadays, given your dietary restrictions?

4. People probably don't think of you as a cheeky tormentor but I know you better than that...

6. Sorry - Scottish politics is pretty depressing tbd

8. Yes; for everyone. How do I make AW-friendly trifle? Would hate you to miss out :-/

10. I need to work out when *our* ten year anniversary is... what as your name back in those days?
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